Child custody advice on divorce from leading family lawyers

Making arrangements

It is important to agree who the child lives with and how often the other parent sees them.

The court prefers that the child's parents agree between themselves where the child should live (residence) and how the other parent will arrange to see them (contact).

If you can do this between yourselves there is no need for a court order. It is important for the benefit of the child or children that you make decisions about them together, but you can act on your own if you need to, for example if you need to give consent for emergency medical treatment.

What if we cannot agree?

If you cannot agree then you may have to make an application to the court. Before you do this it is worth seeing whether you can use a mediation service to help you reach an agreement. If mediation is not an option, either of you can make an application to the court. This can be done whether or not you have already started divorce proceedings.

The court will endeavour to ensure that you both come to an agreement, but if you cannot agree the court will make an order. The court will only make an order if it would be better for the child than not making one, and most cases involving children are usually settled by agreement which is generally better for everyone and saves a lot of legal costs.

If contact arrangements are causing problems it may be helpful to use a child contact centre as a neutral meeting place. We have full details of local centres and can assist in making referrals.

What if there are specific issues that we cannot agree?

You can apply for what is known as a ‘Specific Issue Order' if you need the court to decide a single matter such as where your child should go to school. The court can also make a ‘Prohibited Steps Order' to stop one parent doing something that the other parent disagrees with, such as changing the child's surname.