Hartnell Chanot: Divorce/Family Law Solicitors Exeter, Devon
Adopting a Child is a labour of love
Tuesday, 30 October 2007
For many people, adoption is their only chance to become parents and whilst adopting a child can be rewarding, it is also a serious commitment that requires very careful thought and planning.
While many adoptions go well, some do not because prospective parents have overlooked the possible difficulties, frustrations, and disappointments believing that all a child needs is love. The reality is that adopting children is a labour of love; and it is not until children come into your care that you appreciate the extent of their needs. Unfortunately, many of the children up for adoption have had troubled early lives; they may have been traumatized by their birth families; by foster care families, by multiple moves in foster care; or suffered the effects of neglect or emotional, physical or sexual abuse. Many of the children available for adoption are older, have siblings they cannot be separated from or have special needs such as physical, mental or emotional handicaps. Most children waiting for permanent families live in foster homes, group homes or residential facilities. All will have experienced moves and uncertainty and their resulting behaviour may be challenging.
The charity BAAF Adoption and Fostering said that of the 1,732 children, who were referred to the adoption register between October 1 2005 and September 30 2006, 40% have experienced neglect, 23% have lived with parents with a history of drug or alcohol misuse and 14% have experienced physical violence. Felicity Collier, chief executive of the British Association for Adoption and Fostering (BAAF) says: 'In terms of preparation for adoption people try to explain this but they don't want to always hear it. They don't always understand the degree of difficulties some of these children have.'
Adoptive parents need to be careful, have realistic expectations, and find a balance between helping a homeless child find a loving, nurturing home and their need to raise a child. Children need love, time and energy and like all parenting, adoption means sticking with it through good times and bad. It is ultimately one of the most challenging and rewarding things you can do, and seeing a child develop and helping them on to independence is one of the greatest accomplishments in life.
The one thing all adoptive children have in common is that their birth parents are unable to care for them and that they need a new permanent family to accept and care for them. They need to be supported and encouraged to reach their full potential as they grow up into adulthood.
To improve your chances for a successful adoption, you need to be as fully informed and prepared as possible. Read all you can on the subject, ask every question you have, and use every resource available to you. This is a major decision not only for you but also the child you are going to bring home.
What is Adoption?
Adoption makes a child legally the child of new parents and the child becomes a full member of the new family, usually taking the family's name. The birth parents no longer have any legal connection with the child, and normally the only contact that is preserved is in the form of a yearly written report on progress.
The Legal Process
Parental responsibility is transferred from whoever currently holds parental responsibility to the adopters. Once an adoption order has been granted it can't be reversed except in extremely rare circumstances. A court cannot make an adoption order until the child has lived with the adopters for at least 13 weeks. This period does not start until the child is six weeks old, so no order is ever made before a child is 19 weeks old. If it is likely that the birth parents will agree to an adoption order, the court appoints a Reporting Officer, who checks that the birth parents understand what adoption is about and witnesses their agreement to the adoption order being made. If the birth parents do not agree to adoption the court will appoint a Children's Guardian to advise the court whether such an order would be in the child's best interests. Step-parents can apply to jointly adopt a child with one of the child's natural parents. Notice has to be given to the local social service department who will provide a detailed report for the court and a recommendation as to whether there are any issues that need to be addressed before an adoption order is made or which might make adoption an unsuitable option. The application form is complex and needs to be completed carefully and fully.
Restrictions on who can be adopted
To be eligible for adoption the child must be under the age of 18 years. A child who is married or has been married cannot be adopted.
Step Parents, Unmarried Couples and Same Sex Couples
Thanks to the amendments to the adoption law, which came into force at the beginning of 2006, step-parents, unmarried couples and same-sex couples, can now apply to adopt a child within their household. This represents the most important overhaul of adoption law in more than 25 years, and is a move in the right direction.
Until now adoption orders were made only in favour of married couples, single parents or one partner in an unmarried or same sex couple; but the new law now means that unmarried couples or same sex couples can make their own applications to adopt their stepchild. Upon the making of an adoption order the adopted child is treated legally as if it were born to the adopter and the adopters acquire parental responsibility for the child.
A stepparent can obtain parental responsibility for a stepchild by agreement with the natural parents, who already have parental responsibility, or by court order. They can acquire all the legal rights and responsibilities for their stepchild, and share parental responsibility with their spouse. This does not remove parental responsibility from the other birth parent(s), if they already have it, unless it has been done by a court order. Step-parents can still apply to court for a residence order in respect of their stepchild and obtain parental responsibility that way.
Who can adopt?
Anyone over 21 years old can apply as long as they can provide a loving permanent, stable and caring home and has been assessed as capable of meeting the child's needs. A person cannot be disqualified by reason of disability, single / married / unmarried status, employed or unemployed, whatever race, religion, or sexuality, and there is no upper age limit.
The hidden costs
According to Liverpool Victoria, it costs about £130,000 to raise a child with anecdotal evidence suggesting that bringing up an adopted child costs a minimum of 50 per cent more. There is now an explicit duty on local authorities to provide more support to adoptive families, and financial assistance is available in the form of an adoption allowance. Unfortunately the allowance is inconsistent across the country and not everyone gets it. It is mostly means-tested and many people do not bother applying because they either believe, sometimes incorrectly, that they will not qualify or they are put off by the financial detail they have to provide.
Local Support
There are a number of agencies where you can talk to someone in confidence and get support information to help you decide about adoption including Devon County Council, (01392 386638), www.devon.gov.uk/socserve/adoption.html: Plymouth City Council (01752 306800), www.plymouth.gov.uk/adoption: South West Adoption Network (0117 3730265), www.swan-adoption.org.uk: South West - Families for Children (01364 645480) www.familiesforchildren.org.uk,: and Torbay County Council (01803 402752), www.torbay.gov.uk/adopting.htm. Free legal advice is also available through us on 01392 421777.
What are the alternatives?
Fostering
Fostering is one of the most important yet underrated services imaginable for children. The children who are placed in the care of social services have often been through a traumatic time and may have difficulty trusting adults. They may show disturbed behaviour, not understand normal values or what is acceptable behaviour and be emotionally demanding.The role of a foster carer is vital for such needy children. They provide stability and care for all of the children’s needs for a short or long period, and having been the port in the storm, prepare the children to move on to a place or back home where they will permanently settle. Sometimes foster carers themselves are considered suitable to provide a long-term home. There can be few more demanding but worthwhile and rewarding roles than that of foster carer. Its more than a job, it’s a calling, and there are many children out there needing such help.
Special Guardianship Order
A Special Guardianship Order is intended to provide stability and long-term security for children where adoption is not suitable. A special guardianship order (SGO) appoints one or more people to be a child's special guardian giving them parental responsibility and the ability to make day to day decisions on all aspects of caring for the child. Unlike Adoption, an SGO retains the link between the child and their family and a Court can vary or end an SGO if circumstances change considerably.
A special guardianship will suit children who do not want to be legally separated from their birth family, but would gain from greater legal security and permanence. It will benefit children in long-term foster care or those who are cared for on a permanent basis by members of their wider family. An SGO is particularly appropriate where birth parents, or others with parental responsibility, cannot provide a permanent home but the child's links with the birth family need to be preserved. A special guardian can also appoint a guardian for the child in the event of their death. Before a special guardianship order is made the social services department has to prepare a detailed report for the court and if requested has to carry out an assessment of what financial and other support services the family will need to care for the child.
Further Information
Providing a permanent or temporary home for any child is a complex process with huge implications for all concerned. It is important to get it right and to find out all of the pros and cons before proceeding.
For further information or advice please contact Norman Hartnell on 01392 421777.
Recommended Books on Adoption
Links to the following books can be found in our useful books on Adoption section
- Understanding Attachment and Attachment Disorders: Theory, Evidence and Practice - Prior and Glaseramazon
- Adopting a child by Jenifer Lord
- The Adopters Handbook by Amy Salter
- First Steps in Parenting the Child who Hurts: Tiddlers and Toddlers by Caroline Archer
- Next Steps in Parenting the Child Who Hurts: Tykes to Teens by Caroline Archer
- One of the family: A handbook for kinship carers - by Hedi Archant
