New Relationships

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New Relationships

With love and understanding you can create an exciting new future with your children.

After the difficulties of divorce, you may find you have settled into a new routine with your children.

Sooner or later it's likely you will feel ready to move on and meet a new partner and eventually for them to meet your children. This can be a nerve-wracking time for everyone concerned and needs to be approached with sensitivity.

Introducing a new partner

Here are a few steps you might find useful.

To maintain good communication, and avoid unnecessary upset and stress, it is advisable to introduce your new partner to your ex before introducing them to your children.
Take things slowly. Your children may not yet have come to terms with your divorce and will need time to get used to the idea of a new partner in their lives.
Keep your first introduction low key. Meet somewhere outside the home - ten-pin bowling can work well - and keep it short and simple.
You may have come to love and trust your new partner but remember your children are meeting them for the first time.
If you are planning to have your partner stay overnight, build up to it gradually. Let your children get to know them as a visiting guest to their home first.
Jealousy is natural. Work to maintain your parent/child bond and reassure your children that your new relationship does not diminish your relationship with them.
Let your children set the pace. It's tempting to push things forward but learn to take your cues from them.
Encourage your children to use your partner's first name.
If your new partner was involved in your relationship break-up, bear in mind it may take your children longer to re-adjust.
Sometimes no matter how sensitively you introduce a new partner, your children may just not be ready for it. They must remain your priority.