Your Children: Parental Responsibility

In England and Wales parental responsibility for a child is defined in the Children Act 1989 as “all the rights, duties, powers, responsibilities and authority which by law a parent has in relation to the child and his property”.

Having parental responsibility for a child enables a parent to make day-to-day decisions in respect of their child and the right to be consulted, about matters such as education, religion and medical treatment. Any parent with parental responsibility can also, for example, object to any change of a child’s name.

Who has parental responsibility?

When a child is born, as the mother you automatically have parental responsibility. The father does also but only if he was married to you at the time of the child’s birth or you subsequently marry. If you are unmarried, the father automatically has parental responsibility for the child if the child’s birth is registered after the 1 December 2003 and the father’s name is on the child’s birth certificate.

Will you lose parental responsibility if you get divorced?

No – you do not lose parental responsibility if you get divorced; you will carry on being the child’s full legal parent whether or not the child lives with you.

Child Support: What if the Father Refuses to Pay?

The Child Support Act was introduced in 1991 and operates under the principle that both parents are responsible for looking after their child financially.

When parents split up, the non-resident parent (in this case the father) is required to pay Child Support to the primary care giver (in this case the mother).

Often, parents can come to a consensual arrangement about maintenance or may choose to have their arrangements made into a court order as part of their divorce. There are times, however, when your child’s father may fail to pay Family Support and you need to take action to recover the money owing.

Can your child’s father be forced to pay Child Support?

When Child Support arrangements run into difficulties, the Child Support Agency (CSA) are responsible for making sure it is collected. They have considerable powers to collect unpaid Child support including:

  • If the father is on benefits, the CSA can order deductions from benefits.
  • If the father is working the CSA can order an attachment of earnings and the money paid by the employer at source.
  • The CSA can take self employed fathers to court to obtain an order for payment of Child Support.
  • Failure to adhere to the court order could result in the CSA appointing an enforcement agency to seize goods, place a charge on a property or as a last resort issue an arrest warrant.

Your child’s father has not paid for some time – can you recover back payment?

Yes. The CSA considers unpaid Child Support to be a debt and pursues it accordingly using the same enforcement tools listed above.

You believe your child’s father is not disclosing his full income. Can anything be done?

Yes. The CSA has the power to liaise with other government agencies in order to get a true and accurate financial picture.

You think your child’s father will still manage to evade the CSA and conceal his income. What happens then?

In these cases, the CSA can levy a provisional maintenance amount according to their set amount for the number of children requiring Child Support. In some cases this could actually be higher than would have been paid if the father had disclosed his income.

There are many measures that can be taken should your child’s father cease to pay regular Child Support, the most important thing is to seek legal advice early so all the enforcement processes can be implemented

Your Children: What If Your Child Refuses To See Their Father?

The court expects the resident parent to do their best to ensure contact with the non-resident parent takes place. In some cases, however, the child may not be keen to keep up the contact or may entirely refuse to go.

It is vital that you try to determine the reasons for your child’s reluctance. Firstly ask yourself if there have been any significant changes in your or your ex-partner’s lives which could have unsettled them. These could include:

  • New partner for either parent
  • Death in the family
  • A new addition to the family
  • Problems at school
  • An argument

Children can often be unwilling to share their feelings, especially if they think they may hurt the parent that they live with. They may have unresolved anger towards your ex-partner if they instigated your break-up, or they may feel it would be disloyal to spend time with their other parent. Sometimes, things that seem small to adults can mean a great deal to children such as a problem at school or row between new siblings.

Encourage your child to open up to you during non-stressful times and assure them that you will not be angry about any of the feelings they have. While it is usually in the best interests of the child to have contact with their father, it is essential that they feel comfortable with arrangements and can enjoy contact as a positive experience.

More seriously, there may be issues troubling your child which require intervention. If you suspect they are afraid for their safety or that they may be experiencing some kind of abuse it is essential that you seek legal advice to limit or prevent contact.

Your Children: What If Your Ex Refuses To See His Children?

If the children wish to have contact with their father and yet he refuses to see them this can be a very hurtful situation.

There may be many reasons for his refusal, he may simply find the emotional turmoil of the break-up too great and consider walking away as his only option. Sometimes, a new relationship or a step-family can split loyalties and make a father feel he cannot divide his time between two families.

It is often tempting to try and protect children by accepting the refusal and withdrawing from all communication with the father. However, if possible, it is in the best interests of the children to promote an open dialogue and encourage the father to change his mind. He may feel able to maintain less frequent contact visits or at the very least agree to indirect contact via email and telephone.

Sadly, the courts cannot force a father to see his children if he doesn’t wish to and they can often feel deeply rejected by his refusal. In this case, it is beneficial to be open and honest with your children about the situation whilst encouraging them to vent feelings of anger and hurt without casting judgement yourself. If you keep the option open with their father, he can approach you if he changes his mind and as the children get older they can have more input into the decision whether they wish to see him or not

Your Children: What Decisions Can Your Ex Make During Contact?

Whilst the child is in the care of the non-resident parent and if they have parental responsibility, they will be able to make reasonable decisions about what that child can and cannot do. For example, they can decide what they can eat, wear and where to take them.

Provided there are no child protection issues involved there are no guidelines concerning how contact time can be spent and instead this relies on communication between the parents and agreed ground rules. For example, if your ex took your child to have their ears pierced or for a radical hair cut you might be upset by this. In this case, it would be worth sitting down together and talking it though to avoid further incidents of this kind.When it comes to collecting children from school, it is necessary for the school to be aware of anyone who is allowed to collect your child and they will need to know who to expect in order to ensure their safe collection. For this reason, you will have to work this out in advance and let them know since they may be reluctant to release the child if prior arrangement has not been made.

Your Children: Making Changes & Refusing Contact

Can You Change Pre-Arranged Contact Times?

It is sometimes necessary to change pre-arranged contact times but it should be reserved for when it is really essential.

Children thrive on routine and frequent change of contact times could make them anxious. Contact visits can be a source of stress to many children and changing the times may contribute to this.

As children get older, their needs change and it may be that they have commitments with friends, sports tournaments or school trips which clash with pre-arranged contact times. Working parents may also find there are the odd occasions where they need to change contact times to fit in with the needs of their job. As long as each parent can be flexible and keep the other informed at all times, it should be possible to alter them without too much trouble.

Can You Refuse Contact?

If you refuse contact it will almost certainly lead to the father making an application for a court hearing. It is worth first examining your reasons for wishing to refuse contact, since if there is a contact order already in place you are in danger of being in contempt of court for breaking it.

Both you and the courts should always act in the best interests of your children and therefore, if you are worried about you or your child’s safety, then you can refuse contact and during the court hearing, you will have the opportunity to present your supporting evidence and explain your fears.As the resident parent, it can be difficult to send your child off for contact visits with the non-resident parent, especially when these visits do not always go smoothly. However, unless you have fears for their well-being, it is in the best interests of the child to encourage contact with their other parent.

 

Your Children: How Much Contact Can Your Ex Have?

This is usually decided between you and your ex partner and will vary according to your circumstances, work and the age of your children.

Each family has individual routines and time constraints and you will need to balance these against the need for both of you to make quality time for your children.

Some parents have contact every day while others see their children once a month. Your yardstick should be whether your children seem happy with the amount you have decided on.To avoid confusion it’s good to plan holidays and birthdays well in advance so children can look forward it. Try to involve them in the planning of these dates so they can feel secure about what’s happening.

Once again if you are at all worried for your children’s safety with your ex, this can be discussed in the court hearing and the court has the power to limit contact accordingly. It may be, for example that your ex can have supervised contact or even indirect contact such as email and telephone only. Whatever the circumstances, the court considers contact to be the right of the child and only makes orders to promote their best interests.

Your Children: Shared Parenting

One of the most difficult decisions facing parents with children is the division of responsibility and time with their children.

Mothers and Fathers may be worried that the separation will have a negative impact on their parent-child relationship, and be eager to retain a strong positive parenting role in their children’s live

What Is Shared Parenting?

The term ‘shared parenting’ (formerly joint custody) refers to a family arrangement following divorce or separation where both parents share responsibility for their child’s upbringing. Children spend substantial amounts of time living with each parent and child maintenance payments are reduced for each night of the week that the child stays with the non-resident parent. Putting together a shared parenting plan is an ideal way to agree arrangements between yourselves.

What are the advantages of shared parenting (joint custody)?

  • Children may be reluctant to ‘choose’ which parent to live with after family breakdown, and research shows that the children who best survive their parent’s break-up are those maintaining significant and positive relationships with both parents.
  • Children do best when both parents have a stable and meaningful involvement in their children’s lives.
  • Each parent has, and respects, that the other parent has different and valuable contributions to make to their children’s development.
  • Although parents live in separate places, children feel reassured that they have a home with each of them.
  • Children need to be reassured that each parent has somewhere to live and to actually see that
  • It ensures continuation of family life for the child, building lasting relationships with both parents rather than just one.
  • Children have structured, routine time as well as unstructured time with each parent.
  • Consistent rules and values in both households create a sense of security for children of any age.
  • Children need to “have permission” from each parent to enjoy the time that they spend with the other parent.

Research consistently finds that children are harmed when exposed to conflict between parents. For the benefit of your children and yourselves, it is important to maintain an amicable relationship with the other parent if possible, and not to argue or fight when picking up or dropping off your children. This can affect your children’s behaviour later on in life when they form their own, adult relationships.

Your Children: What Are Your Options?

It is essential that you work out the best possible arrangements for your children and ensure they are clear, consistent and reliable for everyone involved.

Putting Your Children First

Think about all aspects of your children’s lives including the arrangements you are making for them, and how you can best support your children through the transition and beyond.

What Are Your Options?

  • Shared Parenting / Shared Residence Order

The term ‘shared parenting’ refers to a family arrangement following divorce or separation where you both share responsibility for your child’s upbringing

  • Applying for Residence

The granting of a residence order is subject to the case’s individual merits and is based on what is in the child’s best interest

  • Agreed contact

Contact with a child is not a parent’s right. It is the right of the child to have contact with both parents, and to have a loving and secure relationship

Your Children: What Orders Can The Courts Make?

The court’s aim is to assist parents to safeguard their children’s welfare and there are a number of orders that a court can make that are of importance to fathers:

  • Shared Residence Order
  • Residence Order
  • Parental Responsibility
  • Contact Order
  • Prohibited Steps Order
  • Specific Issue Order
  • Family Assistance Order

The last four are collectively known as s8 orders and they should only be sought if they will be of positive benefit to the child.

Shared Residence Order

A shared residence order refers to a family arrangement following divorce or separation where both parents share responsibility for their child’s upbringing. The order will specify the period of time that the child will spend with each parent, but it does not necessarily mean that the child will spend exactly equal time with each parent. Child maintenance payments are reduced for each night of the week that the child stays with the non-resident parent.

How Common is a Shared Residence Order?

In the past, shared residence orders would only be made in exceptional cases: but shared residence orders are now made more frequently than ever before. The court will not automatically make a shared residence order because each family’s circumstances will be different, and it is their responsibility to make a decision that reflects the best interests of each individual child.

When applying for shared residence, fathers should ask the court to make an interim residence order which states which parent the child should live with until the court makes the final decision – and maintain the status quo if possible.

Residence Order

A Residence Order states where a child is to live. Irrespective of the decision, both parents still have joint responsibility (if the other parent has Parental Responsibility) in relation to the child’s upbringing.

If you are applying for a residence order, you need to show it is in the child’s best interest to live with you. You will need to think very carefully about their physical needs and daily routines.

Before making a ‘residence order’ the court will consider the welfare principle, welfare checklist, and the ‘no-order’ principle: as well as what is in the child’s best interests. Family courts also have a principle called “presumption of contact,” under which they have to do everything possible for fathers to see their children.

How Residence Is Determined

The Court considers the following circumstances in deciding with whom/where the child will live:

  • The best person to be able to meet the child’s daily needs.
  • The domestic routine of the child up to the present (Status Quo).
  • The work commitment of the person/s applying for a residence order.
  • In the case of very young children, the court assumes they are better off living with the mother unless the contrary can be proven. However, the granting of a residence order is still subject to the case’s individual merits and may not necessarily invalidate the father’s probability of being granted a residence order.
  • It is generally considered beneficial for siblings to remain together and there is a preference for the child to be bought up by a parent as opposed to a non-parent, except in exceptional circumstances where the child has formed a strong bond with a non-parent.

It is possible to grant a residence order to more than one individual (in the case of shared parenting for example).

A residence order also provides Parental Responsibility to the holder of the order for the lifetime of the order, usually until the child turns 16 years of age unless there are exceptional circumstances. For example if an unmarried father without PR is granted a residence order, the court will also have to grant him an order for Parental Responsibility.

Parental Responsibility

In England and Wales parental responsibility for a child is defined in the Children Act 1989 as “all the rights, duties, powers, responsibilities and authority which by law a parent has in relation to the child and his property”.

Having parental responsibility for a child enables a parent to make day-to-day decisions in respect of their child and the right to be consulted, about matters such as education, religion and medical treatment. Any parent with parental responsibility can also, for example, object to any change of a child’s name.

Who has parental responsibility?

When a child is born the mother automatically has parental responsibility. The father does also but only if he was married to the mother at the time of the child’s birth or subsequently marries the mother. If the father is unmarried, he automatically has parental responsibility for the child if the child’s birth is registered after the 1 December 2003 and the father’s name is on the child’s birth certificate.

Will you lose parental responsibility if you get divorced?

No – you do not lose parental responsibility if you get divorced; you will carry on being the child’s full legal father whether or not the child lives with you.

Unmarried Fathers

If your child’s birth is registered before the 1 December 2003, you do not have Parental Responsibility, even if you are named on the birth certificate as the father. In fact unmarried fathers have no legal rights or status whatsoever, other than a duty to pay the Child Support Agency following an assessment of means.It is recommended that unmarried fathers acquire Parental Responsibility giving them the same rights in the decision making process relating to bringing up the child as enjoyed by married fathers.

This can be obtained in the following ways:

  • By the mother agreeing to and signing a Parental Responsibility Agreement. This is then lodged with the Principle Registry of the Family Division in London.
  • By the father obtaining a Parental Responsibility Order by an application being made to the Court.
  • By the father obtaining a Residence Order which would automatically grant him Parental Responsibility.
  • By marrying the mother.

Prohibited Steps Order

A prohibited steps order prevents the other parent from doing something without the consent of the Court, for example you would apply for this order to prevent the mother from abducting your child by removing your child from England and Wales.

A prohibited steps order requires that the prohibited areas must be specified in the order, and it can be made on its own or alongside a residence or contact order. It can only relate to Parental Responsibility matters, and could be used to:

  • Prevent a change of surname.
  • Prevent the mother from enrolling a child at school.
  • Prevent a child from receiving medical treatment.

Specific Issue Order

A Specific Issue Order is an Order where the Court will consider a specific question that has arisen in connection with the exercising of Parental Responsibility.

As a father, you may apply for this order if you disagree with the decision that your ex partner has made in relation to a specific issue involving your children, for example:

  • Whether your children should attend a State School or Private School.
  • Whether your children should receive religious education.
  • Whether your children should have a specific medical treatment / operation.
  • To prevent someone from having contact with your child.

Family Assistance Order

The Family Assistance Order (FAO) was introduced by the Children Act 1989 as a means of providing support to families experiencing difficulties after separation or divorce.

The order is usually made where parents are having difficulty reaching agreement over arrangements for their children and a Judge invites a CAFCASS officer to advise, assist and befriend the parties, working with them and the children to reach an agreement over a 3-6 month period.

“… aimed at giving essentially short-term help to parents or spouses to cope with the immediate problems arising from their separation or divorce, to smooth the transition for them and their children, to promote arrangements for access where these are in dispute, and generally to facilitate co-operation between them in the future.”

FAO’s are still relatively rare and may be made only in exceptional circumstances and with the agreement of both parties.